Review – Hot Octopuss Pulse III Duo


On that never ending quest for couples toys? Looking for another toy for your penis that isn’t just another squishy masturbator? Looking to try and stimulate a vulva and a penis at the same time? Well Hot Octopuss may have the answer for you!

The Good

I was so excited when my Pulse III duo arrived in the mail. It was finally a toy my partner was willing to try with me, which probably was the best part of this experience.

Probably my favourite bit of using the toy with my partner was watching him use it solo. He really enjoyed the stimulation he received from the pulsator, which was the more important part for me with this toy.

The Pulse III also a great foreplay toy. While it wasn’t the thing to get us both off so magically, it still made for a fun toy to get us both wanting more.

Hey, it was also a good way to convince me to get on top and ignore my anxiety I have about my weight.

If you are someone who has a penis, this toy does have a few great perks. It is able to be used while flaccid, so those with erectile dysfunction are still able to comfortably use this toy.


The Bad

The buttons on the Pulse III, while being super straight forward, are a little stiff. Wanting to change speeds while your member is being engulfed by the toy can be a bit of a pain. Having a partner straddling on top of the toy can also make changing the vibration settings for the internal motor very awkward as you would have to stop and navigate between your partner’s thighs to hold down the toy while you attempted to press the very firm buttons. Hopefully with more uses the buttons ease up a bit. No one wants to fight their toy for access to better settings.

Sadly for me, the toy does not work well with my body. The stimulation I get when enjoying the toy with my partner isn’t enough to make my clit very happy. The top motor is much more buzzy than the inner, rumble-y motor. Other than just being buzzy, my labia lips are a little to prominent, so I am unable to get direct clit stimulation without a lot of effort and awkward movement.

I can see this possibly being an interesting toy for two people who both have penises. Having both penises receiving vibration and stimulation without any penetration. Sadly without having that appendage, I am unable to try this out without awkwardly sitting with my packer on top of my partner. Awkwardly staring into his eyes as he questions my motives.

Quick feature overview + Price

– Silicone and ABS plastic
– Internal oscillating motor, with external vibrating motor
– 5 Modes of vibration
– Has a turbo mode for intense vibrations
– Controller for controlling the external motor for partnered play
– Able to used erect or flaccid
– 100% Waterproof
– Magnetically charges in 3 hours for 1 hour of use
– 25% more powerful than previous model
– Also comes in Solo version which does not have the external motor or remote

Price: $199.99 CAD (Stag Shop)
$159.99 CAD (LoveHoney)

Lube compatibility

This toy is able to be used with or without lube. Though if you are planning on using it with more of a stroking motion, lube is very much recommended. The Pulse III is made from silicone, so only water based and silicone/water hybrids are recommended. Be sure to make sure that the hybrid lube you are using is made with a very low amount of silicone, like Fuck Water and Wicked’s hybrid.

Reasons I would recommend this toy

If you are someone who does have erectile dysfunction, this toy is great for it’s ability to be used flaccid. So even if you are unable to achieve your optimal hard-ness that you would desire for penetration, it is a toy you could still use with both people and still have a stimulating experience. If the vulva having partner has a very prominent clit and enjoys buzzy vibrations, than this toy can also be fun.

Reasons I would not recommend this toy

If you are looking for a mind blowing toy to enhance your couples play, I honestly would not recommend this. It’s too hard to tell if this will work for both parties involved. It didn’t help much for my partner and I, but as I’ve said previously, my body just doesn’t get much out of buzzy indirect vibrations. If the sensation is all about the person with the penis, then I can definitely see the benefits, but as my go-to couples toy recommendation? Sadly it falls very short.
Also if you are a haver of a penis and are looking for a more inside the body feeling of stimulation, that is also not what this toy is going to provide.



Overall, it was a lot of fun getting to try this toy with my partner. While it was not something that h He really enjoyed it, and it got me to try being on top again, which is something I always shy away from due to my weight.

I was fortunate enough to receive this product from a contest they so generously hosted on Instagram. Make sure to check them out on Twitter and Instagram at @HotOctopuss!


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Review – Clandestine Devices Mimic – My Favourite Sea Creature


I’m going to start this off by saying that strong vibrations are not my thing. My precious little clit turns off when things are far too powerful or incredibly buzzy. So my opinion is coming from a place where the Hitachi Magic Wand is this terrifying beast that is far too much for my body to handle for more than a nice back massage.

I received my Mimic after a video of mine on my Instagram was noticed by the Clandestine Devices Instagram. I then got the opportunity to have a super lovely conversation with their rep, who I must say is a fantastic human. I loved being able to discuss the fun and struggles of being a sex store worker with someone who representing a sex toy company. So my initial impression of the company was great.

Did I actually enjoy the toy itself? Yes! Very much yes! This is honestly my new favourite toy. I have probably used this toy more than any other toy that I’ve owned. I’ve always struggled achieving orgasm from vibration, but this one made it easy and possible.

I really loved how easily I am able to use this toy during penetrative sex. The small tip allows it to be held to stimulate the clit while not causing any discomfort to my partner. The vibrations are able to be set at a low enough setting that my partner does not have to feel the vibration if it is something they are not enjoying.

While it does have more than just a constant vibration pattern, I mostly stick to using the first setting rather than the different pulsations. Though what I do really like is that you are able to change the intensity of the vibrations regardless of which function you have the toy set to. So you can experience the various patterns without it being too overwhelming.

It is such a versatile toy that gives you many options on how you want to use it to stimulate your genitals. If you want something very pin point and direct, it’s got a shape that allows for that. If you want a toy that covers your entire clit, it’s able to provide. If you want your inner lips gently stimulated while also stimulating your clit or vaginal opening, it’s happy to help!



Lube Compatibility

If you are planning on using lubrication with this toy, please only use water-based lubricants, or hybrid lubricants with a very small percentage of silicone in them. Avoid using any oil based lubricants as they will not react well with the silicone material. Please also remember to wash the toy after use with a cleaner to make sure nothing is left on the toy while you store it. Take care of your toy and it will take care of you.


Quick feature overview

  • Body Safe Silicone (It’s super soft!)
  • 8 Vibration Patterns
  • 100% Waterproof
  • Has a travel lock (press and hold the + and – buttons to turn on and off)
  • LED glow (so you can find it in the dark? Light your way to your clit?)
  • Quiet/Discreet vibrations
  • Ergonomic Design (super easy to hold!)
  • 3 Colours to chose from: Lilac, Sea Foam, and Black
  • USB Rechargable: 2 hours to fully charge


Price: $119.99 CAD (PinkCherry)


Does this work as more than just clitoral stimulation?

This toy can definitely stimulate more than just the clit and lips. I found it was one of my favourite toys for stimulating the vaginal opening. While it’s not exactly shaped for insertion, it just gave the perfect tickle of sensation.

The more curvier side of the Mimic is also great for resting the scrotum on, giving them a nice vibrating cradle with the small curve on the very tip tickling the perineum.

Other fun ways to use

With the way it’s wings go out on the mimic, it can be a fun addition to a rope scene. You can have rope hold down the toy flat on your genitals by wrapping a strand of rope on both sides of the toy. Tugging at the rope slightly will help add even more stimulation!

Reasons I would recommend this toy

While I totally recognize that this toy isn’t for everyone, it is definitely one I would only recommend for the right person. As someone who, up until very recently has been working at a sex store, this was one of my favourite toys to recommend for someone who is looking for something on the milder side, or has trouble holding certain toys. While it may look like a weird sea creature, the design is perfect for those who cannot hold regular toys easily. Not having to tense up your hand to make a fist really helps open this toy for more people. It’s not going to give you that super powerful vibration that some people might be looking for, but if you’re looking for a much gentler vibration, this toy is fantastic.

Reasons I wouldn’t recommend this toy

As I’ve said previously, the main reason I would not recommend this toy to someone is due to the power. For some, this wont be enough to excite your bits. It might just be an annoying tickle that leaves you in regret. It’s definitely not a power house toy.

The vibrations themselves are also a bit more on the buzzy side, though not a super high pitched buzz, but definitely not rumbley. While I find it’s not one that has ever made me go numb, if you are a little more sensitive, on the higher options you may run into that issue.

The Mimic is also little bit pricey, so if you’re looking for an inexpensive option, this may also not be for you.


So if the Mimic sounds like the sea creature of your dreams, I definitely recommend trying it out.


This post does include affiliate links.
All photos were taken by me, so please ask before using.



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A Year of Progress


It’s crazy how quickly life can completely change. If I were to picture my life as it is today, I would think that I was crazy for even dreaming of that. Even a year ago today, this was not where I thought my life would be at. At least not yet.

A quick summary of the past year:
Last December, my amazing partner launched his business, Weal and Breech. In February he began being contacted by stores about carrying his products. In June 7th, after about a month of discussion and trying to pick out a name, I launched my own business L’Amour-Propre. During the month of July, my products became available at Kink Toronto. Also in July, my health began to decrease and my fight to find out what was wrong began. In September I started vending at markets and fairs under my own name instead of keeping everything under Weal and Breech. In October, I got my answers to the health issues I was having. I have scoliosis. It became too unbearable to work retail, so in November, I made the terrifying decision to quit my job and work on my business full-time.

It is now the end of November, and my products are in 4 stores across Toronto and Ottawa, Ontario. I have shipped my products to 8 countries. I’ve had almost 300 sales on Etsy. I’ve had a ton of people posting their purchases and even more contacting me about wanting custom made pieces. I’ve sold pieces to people I have come to idolize over the past couple years and have them tell me how excited they are to wear what they have bought. I’ve been able to donate pieces to help support charities and the arts. I’ve helped give product demos in front of crowds in sex clubs and been asked to come do them again. I’ve made amazing sex and queer positive friends that I could only have dreamed of ever meeting.

I look back at my younger self, especially in my teens having no idea where I wanted my life to go. Honestly, I didn’t think I would even live as long as I have. I had expected my world to come crashing down and never even considered how fantastic the future could be. I let myself deal with abuse because I didn’t even consider myself worth standing up for. I now have so much more hope and respect for myself because I know what is possible and I have the strength to keep fighting for it. This past year has really solidified that for me.

I no longer live with the same shame I felt about what I did, who I loved, or who I wanted to be. I am not as thirsty for validation and the approval of my family and peers. I am doing all of this for myself. There is no longer this need for my family to accept who I am. It’s freeing. I am my own person.

A lot can really change in a year, and I couldn’t have done it alone. Thank you to everyone who has been there for me, stood with me during my struggles, and helped me become who I am today. Hard work does pay off, you just have to keep at it.

Thank you.

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Influenster Reviews – Part 1


Sometimes when I’m craving some inspiration, I’ll go to random product review sites, or sites in general and browse the weird things customers have written about the products. One site I use to frequent back in my days of trying to write hilariously bad makeup and nerdy subscription box reviews was Influenster.


Thanks to their consistent pestering through emails about boxes I never qualify for, I decided to browse their hidden sex toy selection. Most of the toys on the site are fairly old and discontinued, but I managed to find a few that I have played around with in person (usually just at my place of employment) and have written a couple of fun reviews I felt like sharing on here.


Please don’t put this in your butt. Seriously. If you do have a serious desire to insert this red baton into your sensitive behind, make sure you keep hold of this red demon. It’s never good to put anything in anally without a flared base or stopper, which sadly this monstrosity does not.Yes, it is thick. Though it is made thick with a gross material. It’s listed as body-safe, but so are a lot of other materials used in sex toys that can cause chemical burns (woo jelly toys). Not only having to avoid possible chemical burns, this material is highly porous. So all those fun bits of bacteria you’ve collected from your downstairs exploration are now trapped forever in your raging red friend. Make sure you’re using a foaming anti-bacterial cleaner with very diluted amounts of alcohol.


Avoid using silicone lubricant or leaving this toy to touch another toy with the same jelly material or you will be in for a melted surprise. Water based lubricants only!


Also because it it stiff and doesn’t bend with your body, it will not work for a lot of bone structures.

Picture it: You’re on the couch, having a romantic evening with your phallus having partner. They look you in the eyes and say “baby, we should try something… special tonight.” You look away coquettishly, and giggle. “You mean…” you say coyly. They grin, and begins slowly removing the belt from their pants. You grab the pink packet, conveniently placed on the table in front of you. You bite open the packet, doing your best to avoid spilling the sticky, crunchy bits on to your overly expensive couch. You throw your head back in a passionate display of submission, in a way that tells your partner that you’re theirs and ready to take on their meaty conquest. You pour the packet into your mouth, erupting in crackly songs. “Ready” you gurgle.


I’ve yet to figure out if any of the couples I’ve seen buy these packets manage to use them in a sexual way that doesn’t then erupt into laughter, or the one partner coughing up saliva drenched candy onto their partner.


The taste isn’t horrible, but definitely has that fake strawberry we are forced to learn to love. If you leave the package sitting for too long it has the possibility of becoming a giant glob of useless. That or if any moisture gets into the package, there is no saving it. It’s gone. Throw it out. Don’t lead yourself to live a life of disappointment. Good gag gift, but in practicality, go with chocolate body paints. Same chance of mess, and less awkward.

I don’t think I’ve ever disliked a line of vibrators more than I have the Shane’s world line.


They’re low price and bright colours make them eye catching at stores, but it’s a toy you will be coming back to buy again. Not because you love it, but because they break so easily. The motor does not last. It gets loud fairly quickly after a use or two. I’m just happy it doesn’t eat through batteries too quick.


I will give it a positive light being something simple, made of non-porous material, and cheap for people who are on a super tight budget and just want to know if they like a penetrative toy. That being said, save your money and buy something that will last you more than a few uses.

Do you have nipples that when erect are not super tiny? Do you want clamps that the rubber grips come off far too easily? Then these clamps are the clamps for you! Not great if you have a larger gut, unless you want the clitoral clamp to constantly be knocked off, pinching your favourite love button ever so painfully each time you make the mistake of changing positions.

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