A Year of Progress

 

It’s crazy how quickly life can completely change. If I were to picture my life as it is today, I would think that I was crazy for even dreaming of that. Even a year ago today, this was not where I thought my life would be at. At least not yet.

A quick summary of the past year:
Last December, my amazing partner launched his business, Weal and Breech. In February he began being contacted by stores about carrying his products. In June 7th, after about a month of discussion and trying to pick out a name, I launched my own business L’Amour-Propre. During the month of July, my products became available at Kink Toronto. Also in July, my health began to decrease and my fight to find out what was wrong began. In September I started vending at markets and fairs under my own name instead of keeping everything under Weal and Breech. In October, I got my answers to the health issues I was having. I have scoliosis. It became too unbearable to work retail, so in November, I made the terrifying decision to quit my job and work on my business full-time.

It is now the end of November, and my products are in 4 stores across Toronto and Ottawa, Ontario. I have shipped my products to 8 countries. I’ve had almost 300 sales on Etsy. I’ve had a ton of people posting their purchases and even more contacting me about wanting custom made pieces. I’ve sold pieces to people I have come to idolize over the past couple years and have them tell me how excited they are to wear what they have bought. I’ve been able to donate pieces to help support charities and the arts. I’ve helped give product demos in front of crowds in sex clubs and been asked to come do them again. I’ve made amazing sex and queer positive friends that I could only have dreamed of ever meeting.

I look back at my younger self, especially in my teens having no idea where I wanted my life to go. Honestly, I didn’t think I would even live as long as I have. I had expected my world to come crashing down and never even considered how fantastic the future could be. I let myself deal with abuse because I didn’t even consider myself worth standing up for. I now have so much more hope and respect for myself because I know what is possible and I have the strength to keep fighting for it. This past year has really solidified that for me.

I no longer live with the same shame I felt about what I did, who I loved, or who I wanted to be. I am not as thirsty for validation and the approval of my family and peers. I am doing all of this for myself. There is no longer this need for my family to accept who I am. It’s freeing. I am my own person.

A lot can really change in a year, and I couldn’t have done it alone. Thank you to everyone who has been there for me, stood with me during my struggles, and helped me become who I am today. Hard work does pay off, you just have to keep at it.

Thank you.

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Influenster Reviews – Part 1

 

Sometimes when I’m craving some inspiration, I’ll go to random product review sites, or sites in general and browse the weird things customers have written about the products. One site I use to frequent back in my days of trying to write hilariously bad makeup and nerdy subscription box reviews was Influenster.

 

Thanks to their consistent pestering through emails about boxes I never qualify for, I decided to browse their hidden sex toy selection. Most of the toys on the site are fairly old and discontinued, but I managed to find a few that I have played around with in person (usually just at my place of employment) and have written a couple of fun reviews I felt like sharing on here.

 

Please don’t put this in your butt. Seriously. If you do have a serious desire to insert this red baton into your sensitive behind, make sure you keep hold of this red demon. It’s never good to put anything in anally without a flared base or stopper, which sadly this monstrosity does not.Yes, it is thick. Though it is made thick with a gross material. It’s listed as body-safe, but so are a lot of other materials used in sex toys that can cause chemical burns (woo jelly toys). Not only having to avoid possible chemical burns, this material is highly porous. So all those fun bits of bacteria you’ve collected from your downstairs exploration are now trapped forever in your raging red friend. Make sure you’re using a foaming anti-bacterial cleaner with very diluted amounts of alcohol.

 

Avoid using silicone lubricant or leaving this toy to touch another toy with the same jelly material or you will be in for a melted surprise. Water based lubricants only!

 

Also because it it stiff and doesn’t bend with your body, it will not work for a lot of bone structures.

Picture it: You’re on the couch, having a romantic evening with your phallus having partner. They look you in the eyes and say “baby, we should try something… special tonight.” You look away coquettishly, and giggle. “You mean…” you say coyly. They grin, and begins slowly removing the belt from their pants. You grab the pink packet, conveniently placed on the table in front of you. You bite open the packet, doing your best to avoid spilling the sticky, crunchy bits on to your overly expensive couch. You throw your head back in a passionate display of submission, in a way that tells your partner that you’re theirs and ready to take on their meaty conquest. You pour the packet into your mouth, erupting in crackly songs. “Ready” you gurgle.

 

I’ve yet to figure out if any of the couples I’ve seen buy these packets manage to use them in a sexual way that doesn’t then erupt into laughter, or the one partner coughing up saliva drenched candy onto their partner.

 

The taste isn’t horrible, but definitely has that fake strawberry we are forced to learn to love. If you leave the package sitting for too long it has the possibility of becoming a giant glob of useless. That or if any moisture gets into the package, there is no saving it. It’s gone. Throw it out. Don’t lead yourself to live a life of disappointment. Good gag gift, but in practicality, go with chocolate body paints. Same chance of mess, and less awkward.

I don’t think I’ve ever disliked a line of vibrators more than I have the Shane’s world line.

 

They’re low price and bright colours make them eye catching at stores, but it’s a toy you will be coming back to buy again. Not because you love it, but because they break so easily. The motor does not last. It gets loud fairly quickly after a use or two. I’m just happy it doesn’t eat through batteries too quick.

 

I will give it a positive light being something simple, made of non-porous material, and cheap for people who are on a super tight budget and just want to know if they like a penetrative toy. That being said, save your money and buy something that will last you more than a few uses.

Do you have nipples that when erect are not super tiny? Do you want clamps that the rubber grips come off far too easily? Then these clamps are the clamps for you! Not great if you have a larger gut, unless you want the clitoral clamp to constantly be knocked off, pinching your favourite love button ever so painfully each time you make the mistake of changing positions.

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